life is really a hateful bitch. Joel emailed me the other day and he was asking me about my plans to come back to australia and why i was going and he had this strange idea that i was going to move in with Rohan? Thats was odd but anyways it seemed like he wanted to be friends again. So i was all excited and he asked me what i've been up to and stuff so i sent him a big email and he replied with a really confusing one that said nothing about everything. So then i sent him another one asking him what he's been up to. So then i get the bomb. He's really happy, life is moving along without complaint. In time he will be moving out with his girlfriend and her 1 and 1/2 year old daughter. Isn't that sweet....joel is prolly gonna get married and be a daddy within the year. YAY happy fucking yay. I'm trying to be happy for him and see this as his opportunity to have a normal life and be like other people. But i'm selfish and i will admit that i still harbour hopes for us to be together. Who the fuck and i kidding i have a whole half of my brain devoted to dreams of life with Joel. So anyways i guess he's gone and i'm left with that half of my brain. I'm not going to calculus today. I wish Rohan was online so i could get the addy for his online diary so i could read some depressing poetry. Where the fuck is Sunny when i need him? He prolly knew how i would feel if i found this stuff out so tried to distance himself from me so he didn't feel guilty about it. But what the hell was joel doing telling me in the first place? Why the fuck would you spit in an open wound? Ahh yes to infect it and make it hurt longer and maybe i'll end up losing a limb.

Krista Experienced Paradise at 3:21 PM
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